Welcome to the GUN CITY HUMOR PAGE
If you have any hunting jokes or picturess you would like to send us simply e-mail them to us on the link below.
e-mail: Lily
The "Real Mans" BBQ
You might be a Gun Nut...
-If You've ever dabbed a little Hoppe's on your neck before going on a date...
-If you bought checkering tools, checkered all your gunstocks and are now starting on the bedposts...
-If you cannot really recall just how many guns you own...
-Surplus ammunition suppliers call you to see if there was anything you were looking for...
-If you bought a gun from a gunshop, only to realize you used to own it years ago...
-If you've ever shot out a 1911 barrel.........
-If you save brass and have a case tumbler, but don't reload...
-If you ever stripped the paint off of your car and then blued it
-If you've ever bought ammo for a caliber you didn,t shoot, thinking that someday you might own a gun in that caliber...
-If your computer passwords are gun related...
-If your five-year-old can detail strip and fully reassemble an M-1 Garand............
-If you take your guns out of the safe and handle them, just so you can wipe them down before going to bed...
-If your local gunsmith calls you for obsolete parts...
-If you home-school and use ballistic tables for math lessons...
-If your gun safe is bigger than your refrigerator...
-If the speedometer on your car is in both m.p.h. and fps...
-If you call Brownells and they recognize your voice...
-If you own reloading dies for calibers that you do not shoot...
-If you understand Smith and Wesson's model numbers...
-If you ever bought two different brands of the same bullet just to see which one "shot better"...
-If you've ever had to explain "that it's not the same gun it's a variant!"...
-If watching the Lion King gives you the itch for a .470 Nitro...
-If you cut out your best groups and carry them in your wallet like photos...
-If you've ever gone to a gun show three times in one month, and were excited every time...
-if you know why 30-06 is pronounced "thirty alt six"
-if you walk up on a conversation about horses and as soon as you hear "colt", you are immediately interested.
-if your favorite saint is John Moses Browning.
-if your favorite paint color is "gun metal grey".
-if you carry concealed at the beach
-if you have been banned from a movie theater because you always stand up in the middle of the movie and tell everyone you can't fire 30 rounds from a revolver without reloading.
-if you have more firearms than friends
-if you have insurance covering your guns, but not you
-if you find yourself rapidly disassembling/re-assembling your handgun....in the dark.....on the toilet.
-if you drive to work with a $3000 Kimber in a $1000 pick-up.
-if you've spent more than twenty minutes writing "you might be a gun nut if's.
-if you designed your own caliber and built a firearm to fire it
-if you don't label your reloading powder, because you can hear the difference when shaking the can
-if you have ever read an article in the crime section of the newspaper and read "the suspect had over 200 rounds of ammunition", then assumed it was a misprint. who in his right mind would get down to only 200 rounds???
- if you own a guns you haven't shot yet
- if you have a room in your house dedicated to guns
- if when someone says "but what if you don't have a gun with you?" and after 15 minutes you still can comprehend how that would be possible.
- if the sound of full auto gun fire makes you feel all warm and fuzzy
-if your will specifies your favorite firearm(s) to be buried with you.
-if someone asks how many guns you have, and the answer begins with "about" (i.e. "about 50 or so").
-if you know you carry 45 caliber 230 grain full metal jacketed hydra-shock hollow points from Federal, but don't know the color of your wife's eyes.
-if the gun show owners let you in free.
-if you named a dog after a gun.
-if you time yourself each time you fill out one of those police order forms, and you're down to a minute flat.
-if the wallpaper on your desktop is firearm related
-if you ever heard gun shots outside your house late at night, but fell into a state of sheer panic because you couldn't decide which gun to grab.
-if your favorites in the computer only have one folder, "guns."
-at the tupperware party you show them your Glock
-Your tennis attire has Glock logos
-Your Golf bag has a gun compartment
-Your kids would rather go to a gun show than Kings Dominion or Disney World
-If you bought checkering tools, checkered all your gunstocks and are now starting on the bedposts...
-If you cannot really recall just how many guns you own...
-Surplus ammunition suppliers call you to see if there was anything you were looking for...
-If you bought a gun from a gunshop, only to realize you used to own it years ago...
-If you've ever shot out a 1911 barrel.........
-If you save brass and have a case tumbler, but don't reload...
-If you ever stripped the paint off of your car and then blued it
-If you've ever bought ammo for a caliber you didn,t shoot, thinking that someday you might own a gun in that caliber...
-If your computer passwords are gun related...
-If your five-year-old can detail strip and fully reassemble an M-1 Garand............
-If you take your guns out of the safe and handle them, just so you can wipe them down before going to bed...
-If your local gunsmith calls you for obsolete parts...
-If you home-school and use ballistic tables for math lessons...
-If your gun safe is bigger than your refrigerator...
-If the speedometer on your car is in both m.p.h. and fps...
-If you call Brownells and they recognize your voice...
-If you own reloading dies for calibers that you do not shoot...
-If you understand Smith and Wesson's model numbers...
-If you ever bought two different brands of the same bullet just to see which one "shot better"...
-If you've ever had to explain "that it's not the same gun it's a variant!"...
-If watching the Lion King gives you the itch for a .470 Nitro...
-If you cut out your best groups and carry them in your wallet like photos...
-If you've ever gone to a gun show three times in one month, and were excited every time...
-if you know why 30-06 is pronounced "thirty alt six"
-if you walk up on a conversation about horses and as soon as you hear "colt", you are immediately interested.
-if your favorite saint is John Moses Browning.
-if your favorite paint color is "gun metal grey".
-if you carry concealed at the beach
-if you have been banned from a movie theater because you always stand up in the middle of the movie and tell everyone you can't fire 30 rounds from a revolver without reloading.
-if you have more firearms than friends
-if you have insurance covering your guns, but not you
-if you find yourself rapidly disassembling/re-assembling your handgun....in the dark.....on the toilet.
-if you drive to work with a $3000 Kimber in a $1000 pick-up.
-if you've spent more than twenty minutes writing "you might be a gun nut if's.
-if you designed your own caliber and built a firearm to fire it
-if you don't label your reloading powder, because you can hear the difference when shaking the can
-if you have ever read an article in the crime section of the newspaper and read "the suspect had over 200 rounds of ammunition", then assumed it was a misprint. who in his right mind would get down to only 200 rounds???
- if you own a guns you haven't shot yet
- if you have a room in your house dedicated to guns
- if when someone says "but what if you don't have a gun with you?" and after 15 minutes you still can comprehend how that would be possible.
- if the sound of full auto gun fire makes you feel all warm and fuzzy
-if your will specifies your favorite firearm(s) to be buried with you.
-if someone asks how many guns you have, and the answer begins with "about" (i.e. "about 50 or so").
-if you know you carry 45 caliber 230 grain full metal jacketed hydra-shock hollow points from Federal, but don't know the color of your wife's eyes.
-if the gun show owners let you in free.
-if you named a dog after a gun.
-if you time yourself each time you fill out one of those police order forms, and you're down to a minute flat.
-if the wallpaper on your desktop is firearm related
-if you ever heard gun shots outside your house late at night, but fell into a state of sheer panic because you couldn't decide which gun to grab.
-if your favorites in the computer only have one folder, "guns."
-at the tupperware party you show them your Glock
-Your tennis attire has Glock logos
-Your Golf bag has a gun compartment
-Your kids would rather go to a gun show than Kings Dominion or Disney World
Not only in Texas, Western Australia too!
Hunting ..........
A hunter visited another hunter and was given a tour of his home. In the den was a stuffed lion. The visiting hunter asked, "when did you bag him?"
The host said, "that was three years ago, when I went hunting with my wife and Mother-n-Law."
"What's he stuffed with," asked the visiting hunter.
"My Mother-n-law."
A hunter visited another hunter and was given a tour of his home. In the den was a stuffed lion. The visiting hunter asked, "when did you bag him?"
The host said, "that was three years ago, when I went hunting with my wife and Mother-n-Law."
"What's he stuffed with," asked the visiting hunter.
"My Mother-n-law."
How To Prepare Venison..
A waiter asks a man, May I take your order, sir?
Yes, the man replies. Im just wondering, exactly how do you prepare your venison?
Ya' mean Deer, 'nothing special, sir. We just tell them straight out that theyre going to die.
A waiter asks a man, May I take your order, sir?
Yes, the man replies. Im just wondering, exactly how do you prepare your venison?
Ya' mean Deer, 'nothing special, sir. We just tell them straight out that theyre going to die.
Apparently his school teacher was a little worried after they read it.
When I went rabbit shooting one day.
All the rabbits came out to play.
I pulled out my gun
rabbits started to run.
Then bang, there he goes.
Opps I blew off his nose.
So I went over to him
he was paralised on the ground
and making such an awful sound
So I shot him again
and that ended his pain.
Only in Texas
Bird Flu!
Daisy Gun Control!
